whats up toot-licker ๐Ÿด ๐Ÿ• is a user on masto.dev.host. You can follow them or interact with them if you have an account anywhere in the fediverse. If you don't, you can sign up here.

whats up toot-licker ๐Ÿด ๐Ÿ• @jabyrd3@masto.dev.host

Pinned toot

look, i've been playing lots of botw, and i have a legit suggestion:

can we stun, disable, bind, then kill God himself? I'm merc'in hinox and lynels and whatnot but i bet the creator hisself drops some fuckin gnarly loot. lets do this.

aw man, mastodon went straight i guess, i tooted about alf boobs and got *NOTHING* and all i did was merely not participate in the community at all for like 2 or 3 months i am being censored

ay sorry i was busy with work shit for a couple months, is this still where i gotta go to ponder on alf tiddys

hellworld continues apace, much like it was always going to regardless

folks, i finally did it: i attained the best consumer cpu from 2012 and put it in my garbage-ass computer

*whispers real serious* uhhh my kid is all coughing funny, if this one biffs it how do i bribe the stork to get a do-over. please 2 help i do not at all remember how 2 fuk

a fun thing about mastodon is that none of my coworkers know about it, so i can admit that all i ate today is like a billion beers and a single cold grilled cheese,

AHAHAHAH i am winning wait yeah uh shitnah i got it

can someone please tell me when its socially acceptable to scream "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKN NPC BITCH" at a cop because i am very battered and it turns out that it is not normal to do this yet

FUCK ME WHERE IS ALL THIS SNOT COMING FROM I DON'T EVEN HAVE ENOUGH SPACE IN ME FOR ALL OF THIS

whoeber set up the delay between cummin an pissin is a fucking cop

My 5 year old son fell asleep on my fatass cats favorite ottoman AND THAT MOTHERFUCKER JUST PUSHED THE KID ONTO THE FLOOR.

kids sleeping on the floor i guess

watching amazon become the capitalist superstructure just so that jeff bezos can jerk off in zero-g is really something, tell ya what

if any bofugees want a home that isn't kznk or jorts or any of the other (extremely good) instances, feel free to dm me, dev.host could use some more folks

anyways reply with your book needs or desires and i'll do my damndest to pull you whatever u want

hey yall im the king of stealin books

im like a genie except your only wish is "hey i want a book"

if science invents a way to become transracial im becoming even more white are you kidding me the perks are unreal