whats up toot-licker 🏴 πŸ• is a user on masto.dev.host. You can follow them or interact with them if you have an account anywhere in the fediverse. If you don't, you can sign up here.

whats up toot-licker 🏴 πŸ• @jabyrd3@masto.dev.host

anyways if you can somehow see this (you followed me and my old-ass db doesn't have my followbacks, fave this and i'll readd)

was able to rebuild my instance after a catastrophic fuckup, but my database is from august 2018 (ugh).

mccain humor Show more

oh hey i just realized that i can say this without the lens of irony because this aint twitter:

remember that lobbyists and politicians periodically have to go outside and exist in publicly accessible locations, and remember that you have fists.

remembering john mccain by engaging in a "controlled flight into terrain"

big tiddy waluigi
β€―Β­Β­Β­:waluigi:
Β­Β­ ​​:boob:​:boob:

can qe take a moment to appreciate how painters pioneered hornt on main?

I love being a funeral director and hiding in all my conservative customer's caskets so I can rock back and forth and moan loudly during their funeral service to both terrify their loved ones to their core and give them a sense of false hope.

food Show more

me taking all my electronic devices out of the airport security bin after being scanned

Watching a show on veterinarians & segment comes on where they're operating on a seal.
Me: "Don't they know that you should never operate on a seal?"
Brother: :thaenkin: "He's got cuts & broken ribs. Why shouldn't they operate on him?"
Me: "Do not open if seal is broken."

all this talk about large adult sons but no ones talking about large adult daughters... the patriarchy is alive and well