whats up toot-licker ๐Ÿด ๐Ÿ• is a user on masto.dev.host. You can follow them or interact with them if you have an account anywhere in the fediverse. If you don't, you can sign up here.

whats up toot-licker ๐Ÿด ๐Ÿ• @jabyrd3@masto.dev.host

Pinned toot

hellworld continues apace, much like it was always going to regardless

folks, i finally did it: i attained the best consumer cpu from 2012 and put it in my garbage-ass computer

*whispers real serious* uhhh my kid is all coughing funny, if this one biffs it how do i bribe the stork to get a do-over. please 2 help i do not at all remember how 2 fuk

a fun thing about mastodon is that none of my coworkers know about it, so i can admit that all i ate today is like a billion beers and a single cold grilled cheese,

AHAHAHAH i am winning wait yeah uh shitnah i got it

can someone please tell me when its socially acceptable to scream "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKN NPC BITCH" at a cop because i am very battered and it turns out that it is not normal to do this yet

FUCK ME WHERE IS ALL THIS SNOT COMING FROM I DON'T EVEN HAVE ENOUGH SPACE IN ME FOR ALL OF THIS

whoeber set up the delay between cummin an pissin is a fucking cop

My 5 year old son fell asleep on my fatass cats favorite ottoman AND THAT MOTHERFUCKER JUST PUSHED THE KID ONTO THE FLOOR.

kids sleeping on the floor i guess

watching amazon become the capitalist superstructure just so that jeff bezos can jerk off in zero-g is really something, tell ya what

if any bofugees want a home that isn't kznk or jorts or any of the other (extremely good) instances, feel free to dm me, dev.host could use some more folks

anyways reply with your book needs or desires and i'll do my damndest to pull you whatever u want

hey yall im the king of stealin books

im like a genie except your only wish is "hey i want a book"

if science invents a way to become transracial im becoming even more white are you kidding me the perks are unreal

wow hornt on main is really poppin off tonight huh

i love that i can get drunk and toot "hahhaha but u ever poop tho?" and get 14 lil star things

but when a single person likes my tweet on twutr, with all 14 followers i got, its like every banger on earth going of in my head

oh shit i see why twitter is the bad thing now, goddamn

booze Show more

its october now, and u all know what that means

its time to dick down a dracula or tha wolfman